The only solution is to try harder.

People who don't apply even minimal effort have no right to envy those with talent.
Unsuccessful people are unsuccessful because they can't imagine the effort that successful people have invested. Stop trying to match everyone around you.

abalaba

Everyone wants to become a beast until its time to do what a beast does.

The hardest thing will always be to start.

Hibike! Euphonium - I want to improve!

Studying...

This fucking book had me drawing straight lines and circles for a week and a half straight and now I'm finally at the chapter where I get to draw vehicles.

I'm so dead inside.

A real hero in the dark when nobody is watching is putting in work.

Fall in love with the process

It feels as if

Knowing more about what you already know isn't learning anymore.
To grow you must find the things you never knew you never knew.

I like saying that... "things I never knew I never knew"

Exactly a year from now.

I will be ready to start my comic series.

I say confidently.

The quickest way is to embrace truth.

As much as I hate to admit, I am still a beginner.

important shit

"good drawing" means a great deal more to the professional than to the beginner. It means a figure must be convincing and appealing at the same time. It must be of idealistic rather than literal or normal proportion. -Loomis

If you are stuck..

Learning to draw is special...
a lot of the times I hear and read about people being stuck and don't know how to progress
the answer is to keep drawing what you want to draw and then you'll find the answer
"You'll learn things you never knew you never knew."

I'm thankful for friends, family, and dream making.

How you know

You don't question breathing, you don't breath you die.


You'll have an urge, almost an obsession and you have to let it out.

Just important notes.

http://brandondayton.com/2013/06/how-to-practice-drawing-phase-2-study/
 Create a Library
Choose a Focus
Choose a Drill:
Reverse Construction
Composition Study
Gross Anatomy
Take Notes    
Play
Test Yourself
Make it Relevant

phew.....

bad drawing day

A thought and feeling.

Are people just afraid to over exaggerate proportions these days?
Or maybe its a lack of understanding how to?
Or maybe they're still just young?

It'd be easy to blame the generic anime proportions... but that feels too easy to be the case...
It'd make sense because its a lot of peoples inspirations for drawing...
I'm looking too deep most likely.

My heart won't stop pounding.

I just "finalized my story."

I've heard about things like laughing at your own jokes, but I'm guessing its okay to cry at your own story.

We're getting there.

Top 4 current inspirations Vague vers.

Skullgirls/Lab Zero

Guilty Gear/Blazblue Series

One Piece

Disney

Deep artist stuff.........................................................?

With perfection you'll reach 100% With excellence you can potentially reach higher.

What an artist does is take something, and makes it better.

If you want an exact perfect picture of something... then take a photo.

All art... drawings, painting, photoshop, etc... is a collection of exaggerated forms of real life.
The artist giveth and and artist taketh.
This is why I don't understand when people say... "How dare you give unrealistic proportions to _____!" "So unachievable!"
I don't understand this "unrealistic expectation" stuff. I'm not expecting anyone to achieve whatever I draw. Of course they're unrealistic, that's why I draw them. I draw them because they're impossible. Art is powerful because you can draw the impossible. Not saying everything is impossible but you can draw the impossible. You can draw achievable, the plausible, etc. but the most important thing to me is you can draw the impossible. No one is expecting anyone to match any fictional thing. You look fine. 

Haven't hit an art block for a really long time now.

Crazy

Decided to quit drinking alone.

yay

Dailies.

Me: Now might be a really good time for me to get in the mood to draw.

imagination is just another thing that can be exercised

foundation important

Start with a strong foundation to build on.
The right foundation will hold anything and the building will not fall down.

Self evaluation

I have reason to believe I haven't been pushing myself hard enough.

The workload is far too easy... so I'll attempt to add more to the curriculum.

Also keep your room clean, its a bother to clean it every week. Actually, today rearrange things.

We need to think of a morning ritual. Might be useful. Easier said than done. So just do it.

"Refreshing is the excuse for laziness." (Jump Festa 2015 (2014): a paper on the wall in Oda's workplace)

-someone said this

"easy come; easy go"

gnutips: How do you get tremendously amazing at drawing people?

You draw people

Tangled - I See the Light (HD)

Settling

Recently I have been reading on the topic regarding artist happiness

A lot of artists like to find comfort as soon as they can... but! many say that comfort and happiness can stagnate an artist growth. When an artist becomes content with their work they find no reason to truly improve. True? debatable. to me i believe they just dont improve quite as fast

personally i don't want to be "good enough". I want to reach my highest potential. I've learned that I don't really care how ppl see my work... i do really care how i, myself, see my own work... and I want it to be very great.

pretty sure

int is my dump stat

weeeeeeeeeeeeeee

its not a run its a walk

3

Art is a lot more about learning how your brain works

blah

When you're climbing there's a  lot of falling.

I'm 25; what do I need sleep for?

was bummed out

i actually literally forgot why i wanted to draw

then i remembered and stuff

its important to know your goal

To my stupid self...

you're frustrated, here's tips that you always think about but never do

USE REFERENCE

why is Kizuki's art so godlike? He probably used reference, guaranteed.

USE REFERENCE

remember THAT ONE picture you did? it was pretty damn good for your first time
oh yeah you used reference.

USE REFERENCE

how did you learn to draw your awesome breasts today? oh yeah reference

Important

About art...
this made more sense in my head...
the way to approach the days and success

lately i have been focusing to much on my goals,
but theyre so far away
frustration comes quickly because ill work hard everyday and then reflect how it reflects my endgoal

but that is a mistake
at this stage theres no way ill be close to the result i want or need
theres no way ill have the consistency i want from what i just learned

i believe the way to approach it is have your daily goals
not only that, but you have to approach your goals very specifically
for example, youre learning to draw a jacket and youve never drawn a jacket before
youll spend today learning how to draw jackets
then at the end of the day, you meet your goal
you drew jackets? you drew jackets
what did you learn? who knows, you drew jackets
are they good or bad? who knows, you drew jackets
its this type of approach that makes you coming back, instead of random spurts of 'motivation'  or 'inspiration'
but at the same time you wont lose vision of your long term goals?
why?
because this is a natural process your brain goes through
naturally you will learn from your mistakes, youll learn functions of how things work, how things should look like, because you did it, you drew it.
the only way to build your visual library is to do, and in turn your brain will learn no matter what
just like how you learned to drive, how you learned to use a computer, you just do and now youre an expert.

you wont lose sight of your goals because naturally your goals will meet there.
all these short term goals become really good feeling and before you know it you will learn so much.

You will get those times...

sitting at your desk
what do i draw now?
what do i study now?
what should i be doing?
its easy to get lost in your journey because of so many things you need to learn and youl find out you dont know what you need to learn




draw what you want to end up drawing

if you want to draw comics draw comics
if you want to draw illustrations draw illustrations

in drawing where you want to be you'll find all the things you need to learn

tl:dr
obvious shit that becomes less obvious when youre in deep

Airplanes - B.o.B ft. Eminem & Hayley Williams (of Paramore) [Lyrics]

Setting out to sea

You are the captain of your ship.
you;re at a coast and you wanna get to an island and its very distant
in the beginning to set off on this journey
you're on your boat by youserlf and set off and head west
in the beginning youre going away from the shore and you can still see the shore
but youre moving away and its getting smaller and youre sure youre making progress

eventually youll be so far away from where you were you cant even see it anymore
thats the beginning

then youre in the middle of the ocean and itll take awhile
behind you you see ocean and in front of you you see ocean
and all around you you see ocean
day after day youll see ocean
you start to feel like
"am i making progress? am i still going west?"
you start to doubt yourself and its scary

what you do is you just keep heading west
trust yourself and say "i KNOW i'm heading west"

eventually youre gonna see the shoreline of your destination
and youll finally make it to your destination

then find the next island

Road to being an artist

There's a lot of information you need to learn.
More importantly, because there is a lot of information, it's important to remember it all.
Pretty basic to say.

The amount of discipline to keep a working schedule is immense. More so that I do not have school to keep nagging me on working. Self discipline and a strict regime is key to becoming successful here.

My social life is kaput basically. My life is revolving around drawing and my partner at the moment.
I want this pretty bad. Its all hard work and all the hard work will eventually pay off.
A lot of the times its very difficult to keep concentration and perseverance. The main reason is the repetition of it all. You get a lot of confidence and that confidence is a double edged sword. You start to think you have your technique to a T, but in reality, more work is needed.

Don't practice until you get it right. Practice until you can't get it wrong.

Cut all distractions. Have fun when you need to have fun. Otherwise, 0 distractions.

I currently have a lot of goals in my mind.

Stephen Rogers Peck important words stuff

"the beginner should perhaps set out to learn everything he can. Whatever seems in -their- experience to be useless debris will be dropped soon enough by the wayside.... Anatomy is complex. Its very complexities are fascinating but they are likely to lead the way to unreasonable evaluations. The student should not assume that it is necessary to be correct at all costs in these matters of bones and muscle. In one sense, a human body is the sum of its parts. But this premise can both help and hinder. It can hinder when we attend to the parts and ignore the sum. It is true the student must work at first to be correct, but they should never forget that there is little virtue in sheer correctness..... THey will want to gain, in their own right, such command of human forms and contours that their creation will become identified not with their anatomy charts, but with them." -Stephen Rogers Peck, Atlas of the Human Anatomy for the Artist

Stay healthy.

No matter what your dream is your health is your number one priority.
You can't dream if you're dead.

Be healthy. Do healthy things

that said, you're not allowed to have more than a half a cup of coffee no matter what.

stupid notes for me

Drawing is an endless endeavor of studying.
You don't study anatomy once then draw whatever you want. If you're going to draw well you'll study anatomy for the rest of your life, improving and improving.

You will not take a straight clear path learning fundamentals. If you wanna further improve one fundamental, you have to dip into others, which will in turn improve the first because they all work together.

Remember to set your goal then aim past it.

blahblahh

I want to punch myself.

As someone who is starting out, a beginner, and gets discouraged at looking at very good works and comparing yours and trying to draw as well as them....

you have to realize the hard work and effort they went through to get that good.
there are stages to getting better and you aren't there yet.
you trying to match them at this stage is laughable.
its disrespectful is what it is.

Expecting to be as good as someone who has been drawing for years...

.. with my measly months... I'm a conceited wench

Thank you Undertale! SPOILER SONG DON'T CLICK PLAY FIRST.

I am a long time believer that in one way or another.. the entertainment I know as Animation, Manga, Comics, and Video Games have saved lives.



In this particular case, the recent release of the game Undertale rekindled my fire like none other before and reassures me my belief is true.



Video games have an underrated power that touches the lives of many people and is a true example for everything I believe in. It has given me a giant push to further reach for my dreams.

Thank you Undertale for filling me with DETERMINATION.

Fundamentals,,,,

 aren't supposed to be fun.

Get to work

Here check this out

http://gnuthings.blogspot.com/

09/07/15

The day I woke up.

Hm, change of fate.

Today I find myself at an impasse.

Before my goal was to draw erotic things, but, maybe I want to reach further beyond.

Requires further study.

What Am I Doing??

I should've been drawing the past 4 hours.
I should be drawing RIGHT NOW.
But I need to post to get this out of my head.

I NEED TO FIND BY RHYTHM FASTER IN THE DAY BUT I"M GOING NOW

Drawing and time

Drawing takes time.

When you're learning to draw it takes a lot of time to learn all of the things you need to learn to become a great artist.

A lot of the times when I'm drawing I'll pause and think... "I'm still learning this??" After the hours and days that are going by you think why is it taking so long? Because it does. That's what drawing is and what it takes. It takes hours and hours of you hauling ass over each thing to learn. Anatomy, Figures, Perspectives, Etc. All of that takes time, repetition, understanding, time, repetition, understanding. All the while you might think you're not learning much but take a break and doodle your favorite character and you'll see that hauling ass probably made quite a difference from the last time you tried that.

Haul ass. Haul ass then draw ass. Really nice looking ass because you hauled your own ass to get that ass.

Drawing is slow. You will probably learn slow. That's okay, keep fucking drawing dummy.

Also, it helps that you have some rivals.
Tip: Have a rival, even one-sided.

But whatever you do, haul your ass, no matter how slow it will make a difference when you make dat work. Learn more. Get that mileage NOW.

Sushi is 90% rice.

I have lost count on how many times I have drawn Katrinn's face.. <3 br="">

Dizzyyy rant and stuff

Lots of people I know keep telling me to start doing commissions based on what they see me draw.
Still have a long way to go but they don't know the things I can't do.
Drawing and Painting has a lot of things going on, they only see the things I can do through work I show and not the ugly stuff in my practice/sketchbook.

I keep getting compliments on my "style".
What style? I don't have a style yet, I use a different style every time I make a piece because I'm still trying to find my style. It's amazing how much people can tell about you based on one drawing.

blahblahblahb  Paralysis by analysis -  thinking scientifically while drawing.
thinking about grammer before you're talking
some guy tried to make a perfect novel, and never finished.

On style
Probably going to be more on the realistic side. I do like cartoony stuff though.. hmm.

I'm trying to say, I don't want to bust out "work" yet... I'm still learning. Once I find a good pace and spot in competence I'll be able to move forward. But of course, I'm not aiming for perfection.

Still drawing-

I lied in my earlier post...
There is way more passion I feel for drawing.
An infinite amount of passion.
Not a little, a LOT.
I want to art forever.

Also, when I said that drawing was easy and people are weird for not knowing how to draw.
I take it all back.
Drawing is complicated shit.
There are a lot of things that go into a single art.
Lots of things are going on at once.
Lots of rules, but lots of freedom.
Fundamentals are no joke, but lots of fun.
I will reach all of my goals and dreams.

An earlier time

 My prologue in drawing probably started in D&D. While I was bored I drew my character and got praised for it. I guess I'm pretty simple when it comes to being rewarded when telling me I'm good at something, but the feeling stuck with me that day. I still thought the drawing was garbage, but I liked being told that something I created was 'really good'. From here I thought, "I could do better...". Also drawing was a reason I decided to keep playing D&D, because I liked the setting and characters. So I have to thank D&D for fueling my drawings, and my drawings for helping me appreciate D&D. Most of all, I have to thank my DM for starting my inspiration spark. Through D&D I learned what I really loved to do.

These all were probably drawn 2 years ago? before I thought about drawing for cereal.

 

Here I had my first character. At first she was a little girl but I changed her design. I knew 0% of the rules and she was a cleric with Hellknight armor and 10k fortune cookies. I was always a fan of contradiction between character looks and personality but my devil look could use work hahahah. As you can see here I was very lazy and created a head to replace the old one for the final thing. ;;

 This was another character I drew for my partner. I drew everyones character but I only have some saved. Again, I just drew what I knew, easy stuff. You can see how safe I tried to be when drawing back then.

 The friends who played D&D more than the rest of us had the most interesting character designs, I'm disappointed I did not get to a certain alchemist character but I'll probably someday get back to him, he was my favorite. Anyway, this bitch character here is a character one of them made. She wasn't anything too special but she was an elf and I wanted to try drawing their ears so I had to draw her. I unexpectedly learned a lot when handling her.

 ugh.

 My friends were happy about this version of her... but meh.

 I got very irritated by the first result so I redid her design. I learned I was terrible at designing clothes.

 What I really liked about doing this character was that the player she belonged to was very picky about details like her hair, especially about her hair, so I had to learn how to make the hair more interesting.

After I didn't finish colouring her I went on hiatus for awhile. Then today I saw these drawings. Today, they are very weird to me.

Motivation stuff

http://www.bustle.com/articles/21916-9-steps-to-staying-motivated-for-artists-makers-and-creative-freelancers

Hyperbolic time chamber.

No works from me for awhile, I need to grind out my foundation.

I'm still well into my journey...

I am comforted that I am realizing my faults and slowly climbing the ladder.
It's been frustrating to work from the bottom, but I won't let myself down!

I've never been so hungry before in my life I think...

I can't interpret how badly I want to be good at drawing right now.

I want to someday make amazing art.

Blahabop. Art adventure?

Short and sweet post on my progress.
Though the warning is... you can't really see it.

Simple things I forget.

Start with learning everything about Reality.
From there you can Bend reality.
Then finally you Break reality.

That is how you Create.

"Styles allow you to break reality."




I just remembered something in high school... I thought art was a silly profession.

In high school, I wrote stories and doodled as a way to pass the time. I would have fun with my friends and drew them as superheroes and we would laugh together, but I never realized I was the only one drawing even with all the praise and how my doodled were passed around the classroom.

I remember my biggest achievement in elementary school was when we had to draw flowers and apparently I drew the best rose in the school and it was on the top of the wall in the cafeteria for the remaining 3 years I was there. I actually do remember in art class we were doing a little project and the art teacher said something in the lines of, "You are very talented!" and I did respond, "Your class is boring." Looking back I think I wanted to say that her class was easy... or give me something better to do, but detention said otherwise.

It was around the end of middle school that I was influenced by anime. I have been in the Pokemon craze in elementary school, but I never drew characters or thought much of it, it was another cartoon for me. My cousins moved from Japan and they brought DVDs and a manga, my first I would read.

My first anime was Rurouni Kenshin. There I found a story and art style that I found so wacky at the time. I never really cared for samurai since then but the way this anime portrayed it was very thrilling for me. What really gave me a sense of motivation were the bad guys. They were well fleshed out and it was then I figured that bad guys are "bad" for a reason, and not just for the sake of being bad. For me in a way it started it hit home for me... but that's a story on its own. My first manga was Clamp's Chobits. I was weirded out this one for awhile, but after finishing it I realized I just really liked how creative it was. These two mediums were the first things that influenced me into making interesting stories.

Starting in high school, I started to get addicted to a game called Ragnarok Online. From there I made characters and would write them of their stories of what they did in-game and draw them. Kamesuki was the greatest treasure hunter of all time, and she would find the rarest items that others could only dream of having, but they could have it if the price is right! I played alongside my cousins, one who was adept at drawing already. Time and time again he would draw designs from RO and I thought they were pretty good. I would attempt to also draw manga, and of course I knew they fell short. I would always be disappointed when doodling in school, but my friends would say something like, "pretty good!".

I do remember being very friendly with all my art teachers and English teachers throughout my K-12 schooling... I distinctly remember that because we would have a lot of conversations regarding my work. I remember I was always praised by these teachers.

"Your writing is done very well." "Your drawings are well done." Things like that.
I always thought that they were just being nice because we were kids, they had to praise us for doing our work. I actually hated art class for this... I took 2 art classes in high school... because they were easy credits. I slept in them, because I finished my work early... but the teacher said. "Keep working."

"Keep working? There's nothing left to do."
"There's always something to do!"
"..."
I didn't understand.

It bothered me because even though I seemingly didn't care for the work in art class, I did try my best in the beginning, I worked very hard. I did notice that, my work was in fact better than most students in the class, I just figured they really didn't give a shit. To me it was easy work and concepts but from the look of things, the way other students drew their faces looked like something from an alien sci-fi movie... or more like demented faces serial killers would draw. Because of that, the teacher praised me every time she walked by and the other students would give smirks and whispers.

"It's not that hard, just look at the thing and draw it. Look at your hand and draw it, your drawing looks ugly because you think your thumb is the same size as your pointer figure, just shade the shadows darker and look where the light is, its 100% common sense." I wanted to say... but I decided not to and just worked less in the attempt to dodge anymore spotlight from the teacher.

Weirdly enough, I worked harder in my English class. In English we wrote journals everyday before we started class and we were able to write whatever we wanted during the first 20 minutes. At first I just wanted to get the work done, so everyday I wrote the lyrics of whatever song I heard in the morning on the way to school. Then I found out that a guy in my class I really hated was writing an on-going epic in his journal, and every morning the teacher would say something like. "Can't wait for the next chapter for your epic, its getting really interested."

Now this English teacher and I were pretty tight in my opinion... I hang out with him away from other kids in his room and we would talk about life... and I would rant about some of my teenager problems... so I decided I wanted to write him stories so that he'd praise me, because what did some random guy in class know about writing good stories? I'd show him.

So onwards I started writing my own short stories in my journal. At the time I was influenced by a manga called Kaiji and Akagi, which were about gambling. So I based my stories around gambling, Sherlocke Holmes, and the deep meaning of life. I thought they were pretty good, stories about wits and outsmarting each other and especially, the bad guy giving a speech with the protagonist being unable to retort against a "sound argument". But... my English teacher never said anything about my journals. They never came up in conversation. He never hinted about any aspect about them. Then one day in my final year I questioned it one day.

"So do you even read everybody's journals when you grade them?"

"Yeah! Of course! I read every single word of everyone's journals! That's the joy of being a teacher!"

"Oh, so... what did you think of mine..?"

"Hm? Oh, they're okay. You're doing okay."

Garbage.

I thought.

This teacher is complete garbage. He can't even see the value of my work. What complete garbage. This teacher didn't enjoy my stories because the good guys don't win in them. Well guess what? The good guys don't always win. Sometimes the bad guys are right. You're too used to your bullshit literature about heroism and shit! The only time tragedy is okay is if the good guy is mourned or something but when the bad guy gets everything he wants then it's not okay?? So bullshit.

So what is this? Is literature this weak? It's so limiting? I'm so confused... whatever...

It was until one project I was finally praised by said English teacher. We had to take one Greek/Roman God/Goddess and draw a picture of them that represents them accurately; a fun project.
After all the joke questions about whether the students were allowed to draw Zeus fucking a million people, I decided to draw Athena, Goddess of war, fighting in the middle of a battlefield, shield in hand with her symbol. I guess I was the only person that knew human beings had joints in their arms and toes of their feet, because I got praise from the teacher and from most of the classroom. They thought it was very cool to see a Goddess deflecting an arrow and stabbing someone Spartan style. So my picture got the top of the wall over all the stick-figure naked Zeus's.

The second fun project we did in English class was to take any scene from any book we read for the semester, and draw out that scene, same way we did the God/dess project. For this one I chose to do a scene from The Princess Bride, my favorite book at the time. (Movie was okay, book is 100x better, go read it.) In The Princess Bride, the main female lead was Princess Buttercup, who was probably the first tsundere princess I would come across, but also an interesting character. Throughout the book she is the damsel in distress, but done so in a comically way to me that it was interesting. To me personally she felt like a strong character even though she couldn't do anything, thanks to her personality. Then finally in the end of the book, she becomes free and exercises her power as the queen. To escape, she stands on horseback and she yells out, "[because] I AM THE QUEEN!" to which the soldiers have no choice but to let her pass due to her authority.

So I took that scene because I thought it was literally the most badass scene I could think of. At the time I was influenced by the newest anime at the time, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann. In my project, I had Buttercup point up towards the heavens like Kamina, and have her yell out the words. "I AM THE QUEEN!!" Once again I was showered with praise and everyone kept telling me, "That's a good imagination, I never thought of that scene like that, but now it's badass." Since then I started to get more insight and understanding how a picture could mean a thousand words.

That was me back in high school. In college, I just kept doodling and thought really nothing much of it besides it being pen and paper... The praise faded away like a dream because in college, there were Art majors. Everyone that knew how to draw was in college now aiming to become a professional, so I found my "art" to be pretty shit. I didn't consider having Art as a major throughout my own time there... because since I was a kid I was told it wasn't something that I should go to school for. Today, I don't have the feeling of wanting to go to school for it, but right now I'm getting a very broad understanding why people do it.

As I'm drawing, it has been the most peaceful I've felt in a long time. There's a little passion in it to, and the goal... well... right now there are no goals, just to keep drawing and creating right now.

Anyway back to college. I just doodled and thought nothing of it... but then I started playing Dungeons and Dragons. At the time, I have played so many video games. So writing was something I did a long time ago, and stories were just ride I rode in. With my first Dungeons and Dragons game, I was pretty bored to death. It was a game, but something was missing. The combat was slow... story was pretty mediocre... it's just another rogue-like so why are we doing it?  I remember time and time again each session that...
Shit if I wanted to play a game, I'd just go play an actual game.
My character didn't really do much in this session in the beginning. She was a young cleric that was there for pretty straight forward reasons. I was bored and decided, what would she look like? So I drew a quick sketch and decided she would look pretty normal. That was pretty the funnest session I literally had. It woke me up; I liked designing characters. It gave me some sort of reason to want to follow what was going on in the game. Then I realized it was less like playing a game, and it was more like writing a story with 8 other people. So I decided that my character was pretty normal because I was treating her like a developed character in a regular video game, but then I decided that maybe she should have a personality and interact with the world somehow. This helped the game become a bit more enjoyable and revived the creative side in me.

Dungeons and Dragons... helped me in a weird way. Today I realized I care not for the game really... but I decided that it helped me understand myself, what I wanted. What I wanted was to make characters and write stories, just like what I used to do way back when. If that was something that made even Dungeons and Dragons interesting, then that must be the right thing!

So around a recent time... I found my journal I used to write back in English class... I read my stories.

........They were pretty atrocious. Atorable. They were terrible, horrible, but adorable to the point where someone would say, "Awwwwww.... at least they tried!"

They were not too cringey... but they lacked something... lacked a lot of things... I'd rather not say.

It was then I realized that... my stories really did not impress my English teacher... he probably thought I was a psycho at the time actually. I mean, to my own credit, I can still sympathize with the bad guys in my stories in a way. But I think the main reason why the endings to my stories were not impressive was because they were not really endings. The bad guys did not win. I never really ended my stories. The bad guys speeches... while they did make sense, there existed rebuttals. The me now and the me before contradicted. The bad guys who were "right" have now lost...and that is what my English teacher saw. The teacher saw the protagonists eventually winning... that garbage bastard.
I was first a little confused when I saw this. A lot changed in me and my way of thinking across all these years. I was actually pretty happy that my work reflected a part of me. I always knew I was an easy read but from this something just made me really happy to know that I changed.

So today I realized a lot has changed in my perspective. I realized that I love drawing because it allows me to create something that has more than what is actually there, a full story, a fleshed out personality and wonder. "I am Creating life itself." Is the sort of feeling I get. 

I remember that, there's always a bit of the Creator in everything they Create; writing, drawing, stories, characters, everything. Today, the characters I think about are all positive in some sort of way, with their own little quirkiness and love-ability... Of course, I still have to make bad guys!

"Change the way you think, then you change the way you draw."

Ever since i have started to learn how to draw seriously, it's amazing to see the changes in my work. With drawing, it's easy to see progress because I have access to past sketches. It's fun to find out that through learning and practice I am slowly growing a new perspective that sees mistakes that my past self did not perceive. I have learned to be happy with the smallest improvements because each one is a small step towards that excellent art I am aiming for.

The biggest pleasure in my hobby is finally being able to build my power of creation.
In my head, I have had a tornado of ideas in my head, however I could never figure out how to express it. Now that my drawings are getting better someday I'll be able to put them in a proper medium.

Art motivations

"The practice is hard, you don't show anyone the practice but it will be hard and that is work. The performance should be easy and that is what the audience sees."

Difficult work =/= good
Easy work =/= bad

Sketches are not meant to be shown to people, sketches are meant to learn from and study.
Sketches =/= Your actual work

In short, keep drawing!

Short post, what am I up to?

So I'm in the process of writing my own manga/graphic novel.
There are too many things to do. heheheheh

Explanation of fighting games basic neutral, Very informative!

My mind's battlefield.

These past days I have been struggling with a lot of motivations in my mind. I have a lot of things I think about and I can never seem to figure out what I want to true and in what order.

In terms of inner strength I feel like there is two of me. The weak one with so many ideas but without the will power to do so. She bears the gift of many beginnings but lacks the energy needed to see the big picture. I tire out very easily in this state and would rather fall asleep and rot the day away.

Then today I realize there is a stronger version deep inside. She comes from the deepest parts of my mind and beckons my weaker self to "WOMAN UP!" Together I feel they met today from a breaking point and I could never be more thankful.

Sick Guilty Gear tribute song!

Motivations

http://www.tofugu.com/2015/01/26/quantity-not-quality-makes-fluent-japanese/

MRGRGR! Can't wait for Bravely Second!

"My Bravely waifu couldn't be coming back in the sequel!?" Edition

http://www.siliconera.com/2015/01/23/bravely-second-shares-edea/

Younger version for comparison

Will she be playable though??

Character Appreciation! Blazblue:Remix Heart Edition: Mai Natsume

Blazblue's Mai Natsume from Remix Heart

Exciting news!

One of my favorite characters in the Blazblue series is officially going to be in the game!
She'll start off as a character in story mode, but that usually means that is a step towards becoming a future playable character! She'll be joined with Cajun Faycott, her roommate who also has a mysterious back-story.

She isn't very known outside of the game but she is one of the main heroines of the Blazblue story!

Hey I made a thing.

Characters from fighting games

You can make your own thing too: http://wallpapereditor.com/

Watch me play games on Twitch!

Click here to view my channel!!

I have been slowly constructing this channel for everyone to watch me play games! Come watch and hang out with me whenever I'm on! Cheer me on as I finish up my backlog! Also, follow me so you're notified whenever I'm on!

It's nothing too big, just another gaming channel.

GGXRD 1/12/2015 Rozu (Ky) VS Dei (Ramlethal)

My hero Dei playing Ramlethal in the Sacred Match-Up! :F

[GGXrd] Elphelt combo-video いただきだんなさま#R

 

Elphelt appreciation video!

Hinoi Team - Night of fire 【HD】

Weird dancing aside... I really like the girl's outfits!

Tristana Update!

Oh my gah!
Trist is such a cutie now!

http://euw.leagueoflegends.com/en/news/champions-skins/champion-update/champion-update-tristana

What I like about League of Legends right now are the character redesigns. I used to think a lot of champion splashes, animations, and models looked so ugly but they are slowly changing each champion one by one to give them a more personalized feel. This one is a great example of nice changes to the designs of a very old champion. It's inspiring to see what can be created from something long ago like this.

"Be happy with what you have."

The title contains the wise words from my older sister. She told me this when I was having a moment in my life where I was lost on how to properly manage my money. Fresh out of college, I had to start thinking about paying back the students loans I had used and adding in all of life's expenses, thought "how was it possibly to do it with such limited income and time?" As someone who spent her last 18 years in school just learning about life I had no idea what having a job meant. I was a wreck but my sister was the one that helped break it down for me and see the reality of money. She calmed me down and told me the way budgeting and time worked. The one thing that eased my mind was:

"Be happy with what you have."

I promise I take it to heart... and I think about it everyday.
However, currently my mind is still tainted with the tantalizing thoughts of shopping and new things.

I am in no means in the red when it comes to money... but I need to start learning how to save up for emergencies. Alas, I am very materialistic, which is the one flaw that goes against my logic, however a peculiar trait that I oddly take pride in.

I am slowly getting the hang of it, I would like to say. It's dangerous to say that you're not making any progress or else you'll continue to become stuck in your hole. Studies show that if you learn to give the spotlight to all the advances you make, you're more likely to continue your journey to improvement. Otherwise, more people are more inclined to quit whatever they're trying to achieve. So what if you ate those donuts? You cut off that soda nicely! Didn't make all your reps? Well you ran your ass to the gym and that's quite a feat! I cut buying collectibles to start adding to my savings and it's working out fine!

This year I only have 2 big purchases I hope to make soon, with the right budgeting I'll be able to make them and live comfortably until I have to be shipped out.

Be happy with what you have. I love you big sister!

Laaaate Christmas Update!

 I'm just in time for a group shot of all my presents this year!

Very good Christmas this year!