I work all day

I just got tired of being mediocre. I want to become extraordinary.

I can't understand how people can just live like they do.

Let's pretend...

That I lived a very good life.
I also had the time of my life and loved every single second of it
I never struggled and things just went so well
I got a content job 9 to 5 and had enough money for my lifetime

I followed whatever people told me and never hated the things that hurt me
I never searched what I loved and just did everything that everybody else did because I wanted to be just like them.

I never went to answer my problems and let them consume me
I didn't try different things to find out what made me truly happy
Instead I just did the things I liked doing whenever I felt sad
and never pondered what could be different and never sought solutions
but temporary escapism
but its okay because now I have so much money to do whatever I wanted
Money that would save me from boredom and occupy my time with fun and leisure

I was living a perfect life.

The me that's living that life I wish you well, but I'm so sorry you're so unfortunate.

Perfect is poop.

If I wait for my hand to catch up to my eye..
if I didn't move until it got here then I'm dead.

They'll follow you

You can't wait for mastery to move on.
There's a point where you'll know enough.

Wait for Mastery and you're stuck

Punch past the wooden plank

my biggest influence is really video games

2 sides of the same coin... I call tails.
 so...
we're all just different sides of the same d20.......
some people are 1s though...that sucks... HAHAH

I'm pretty sure I'm a nat 20

its very difficult for me..

I hate to admit but I spend more time thinking about how terrible i am at drawing than i actually draw.. i mean i eventually keep drawing but i beat myself a lot
hang in there

1st year as an artist. my influence map and 4 things I did right...?

 

Things I felt I did right:

1. exploring different tools to find the ones that worked with me.

I bought and tried a lot of different pencils, pens, ink, dip pens, markers, colored pencils, a tablet, etc.
By doing this I have found the pencils, pens, methods and other things that I feel creates the most synergy with me and my art. I think its important to know that I found one of the pens I use everyday in the most unlikely way.
 I feel it is important for an artist to find the tools they are most comfortable with. that is just one of the few steps that helps prevent distraction from creativity. however i will admit that although i did this step very early in my endeavor, others may take their time finding their preferred tools. that is because all you really need is a pencil.

2. looking at artists I admired as inspiration frequently.

I often tried to mimic a lot of other artists because I knew their style was close to something I hoped to draw like one day. this is a great way to find out how to push reality to how you want it and bounce ideas for the future. I collected images online and own a lot of art books of artists I really look up to. I also follow them on their sites because I'm just a creeper. Looking at a lot of different inspirations helps supplement your life studies with a lot of ideas.

3. i drew everyday

My worst days all i drew were shapes... but thats still ok
as long as you get into the habit of drawing everyday youre one step closer for it to become second nature.. and thats what i want. you have to drill into your mind that you must have your pen touch the paper... or else itll be weird.

4. i studied from real life

I often see some young artists... if they wanted to just draw anime, all they did was draw anime.
but not only that, they would try to learn from images of just anime. while i did say i copied from other artists, anime, and other art as well, learning solely from just that one thing can cripple a beginner. in my opinion that was something that happened to me from experience. a  lot of artists get disappointed when their picture looks off when they try to study from anime
then you have to realize, all art just stems from real life, including anime.

its not often said, but there is logic to drawing
drawing is not art
drawing is actually a science, its a class, its a skill just like everything else that takes years and years of studying
drawing is a skill
a skill to make art
once you learn some things then you bridge the gap and use drawing to make art

think of any possible drawing skill you need and your answer lies irl

Loomis reminds us

The layman does not need to know anything of art to know whether he likes your work or not.
-Andrew "LOOMIS" Loomis

things i didnt think i'd get into when i started drawing

comic books

autobiographies

history books

mythologies

stickers

holy shit stickers

Just bought myself an expensive super rare comic book I really want like:

thoughts and stuff

I am tired of being a consumer and want to be a creator

but you can

you know you can do
it but you cant
you want to break surface
but the surface is yet unseen
think hard, which way?
travel along resistance waters
but still too weak to get far
whats the point?
needed rest?
needed change?
no answers
someday this lost version of you
will come to pass,
maybe even come back one day
but realize
you "know" you cant do it
but you can

Skill

think back 1 year when you started to learn
think about the difference in confidence and the difference of satisfaction
youll remember all the things you didnt know before and the confidence and satisfaction you lost as you went on
now you know more
now you can think about what your self thinks about you 1 year from now
keep going.

Any artists out there

I highly recommend reading Scott Mccloud's The Sculptor.

I haven't cried and thought so hard after reading this comic, very moving.

Six panels.

 It's a different world down here, I just learned what I need to get by, I bet after all those years in the garage, you've learned some pretty valuable skills, too.

Not really... turns out, machines aren't really my forte.

Oh? Then you were practicing some other trade on the ship?

...no...

So what were you doing all day up there?

Waiting... I guess.
I knew, when the day came, I'd inherit Peacetowne. I just kind of did the bare minimum, waiting out the days until then

So you were doing nothing, waiting for the day when you could finally do nothing.

Hey, being the boss is a big responsibility!

So that's what you wanted? Responsibility?

No, I mean, not exactly.

Then what?

I don't know I just want to be GOOD at something! I'm not good at anything!
I was hoping maybe I'd be good at... THAT.

People aren't just good at things, Dee. It takes hard work.

-Diesel by Tyson Hesse

Don't learn drawing like me.

Because I really wanted to learn to draw I went completely backwards in the process of learning the figure.

I tried learning muscles and bones first, then finding out to learn the figure, then all the way back down to basic shapes. Please start in the right order. Skipping ahead did not work.

Don't reinvent the wheel

This has been the lonliest I have ever been. Right now it is a very lonely place to be.

The passion that comes with drawing makes it easy. That is because I am taking my creativity and imagination and trying to make it come to life.  Undoubtedly that is the greatest thing that can come out. That is the very goal of every artist I believe: To have their creations and dreams come to life. In that its like playing God. (Just a metaphor) Its the drive that artist have when starting out, including me. That feeling where whatever you put onto paper made you happy because you made it.

The hard part in drawing is acquiring the very skill to make your pieces. In the beginning you are happily just creating whatever you wanted regardless of skill. Then you decide you want to create more. The hard part for me was finding out in order to create what I really wanted was I had to work harder. I would find out I was not the artist I thought I was and you find out that there is a myriad of things to learn when it comes to drawing. However, unlike any other skill I had gone through, I found this skill to be absolutely needed in my life.That is because I believe this is the most important skill I will ever need; not quite anything else I have ever wanted before but because it had carried a drive and passion with it which I could barely explain.

I'll be here to admit, the hard part of drawing is something I really do not enjoy. The hard part of drawing is studying. There is so much to study and it is not that I do not care for it, but because I have not been much the studious type. When you draw you want the passion that comes with letting your creativity flow, but in studying you are grinding your craft. The sad story is this grinding is gravely needed because I know it is the grinding that will ultimately let me draw what I want. Because without the hard part, I will not enjoy the easy part.

notes

3 stages
gesture action masses structure solve all problems here =80%
figure basic form 3D mannekin
anatomy details
each stage builds from the next

Be quick. Yes and No
  7 Ls
Loosely
Lightly
LineOA tug
LineRhythm
LargeLong overall big shapes

write down things

cycle

I sigh I scream and then I laugh every time every day.
Because of how bad I want it

Everyone is crying.

They begged because they wanted time to stop.
When it didn't they cried.
They cried for themselves, then got tired.
They tired too much and thought,
"We don't want to tire anymore. It hurts.
We can end the hurt if we want to. Why don't we just end the hurt and leave?"
One spoke up, "Let's try crying for something else because that is another option that is left to explore."
So they went and stopped crying for themselves and they saw others.
They observed and found out... they were crying for themselves too.
They cried for those crying for themselves, and it hurt.
However, it hurt differently. It was more intense and it was the worst thing they could cry for.

"We cried before because we didn't know what we wanted.
But now we cry and hurt even more because we know exactly what we need."
"The only way to stop crying is to make everyone stop crying at the same time."

Thank you very much.

Discipline.

Discipline is the very opposite definition of fun.


I've been slowly trying to get into a working schedule.
I have succeeded. but. I need to get into becoming a working artist sooner.
I am not putting in enough time and I am being distracted way too much still.
So starting tomorrow I will be harsher to myself in that regard.

A Pep Talk from Kid President to You

2014-2016~

I've learned more about myself these past 2 years than I ever have the other 20.

I feel like thats what happens when you have less stress from things like work and school.
A new brand new stress... did not come, it was probably there to begin with. but. it becomes more apparent when everything else slowly calms down.

It felt like the inner being or source of all stress. I guess I just discovered mine late? who knows.
Fighting isn't the right word... tackling? Tackling that stress is probably the most difficult thing I've done, because it doesn't really go away. There's a lot of things people can do with this stress. I've decided to befriend it. I feel like... neglecting it makes it turn into a beast. When the beast is ignored it becomes wild and scary. If you befriend it, it can become a very powerful ally in life.

We all have to live through the sodomy.
We just want our wick to shine and gleam.
Some stay loud through the dark pouring rain.
The other ones cover their eyes.
Tomorrow's day, Then the next.
Varied or Constant.
Realize we're never that person ever again.
Who... was that?
Probably just... another remnant. Thank you for your hard work.
I'll let the others know. I promise.


In a way that makes more sense to more people.
I never had the chance to think what I really wanted for myself. but now that I do I know exactly where I want to be.
With full fledged confidence I can say I'm an artist first and foremost.
My weakness right now is I know myself very well, but. I don't know other people. 

vilppu says some shit

No one is really interested in seeing cylinders, ellipses, boxes, etc. What we want to see is what you have to say about your subject. Do not confuse the method with the message.

tl;dr Never Forget.

Things I've probably said before

You had to be there to get here.

You'll wish you knew something way back when, that's just how it will always be.

Your hands and eyes are two best friends that often get into fights, but they make up with each other if they just apologize.

Artist shit

Two most important tools.
Eyes
Hands

You train your eyes to see
You train your hand to match your eye
For me my hand has a lot of catching up to do.

Things I hate to say outloud about myself

Get distracted a lot.
Love just watching the sky.
Can't concentrate on what friends say, mind defaults back to career, so am probably thinking about that if wondering.
Consider presence pretty useless to friends. Much rather use skills to make something for them. Skills are strongest asset. Do know that being with friends is very important because its a good break from the stress and raises spirits and creativity.

Hate who I used to be but love who I am now. Considered quiet because words are useless, would rather use action to talk, however subtle. Can't make people like someone or something, can only be yourself. In the end doesn't matter. In the end there is the decent and the indecent. Love makes love and hate makes hate. Others need to learn to take "good" and "bad". Yin Yang.

Very bad liar. Strategy-based. Very hard to make something look unintentional when everything is carefully decided. Everything not placed by accident. Bad habit.

Few people exist who really adore me. Too much. Don't know why.

Just want to see the best come out of people.

Remember the common denominator.

There is hate, but understand. Not their fault. Never their fault.

Everyone does not _______________________ for each other enough. If we can do that, you can achieve our greatest selves.